Tuesday, August 4, 2009 Y
Dear FreakyEmo,
Today was the most painful day for me cause it hurts me so bad that I have lost my feelings.. I'm not sure whether i am to smile or sad.. Happy or down.. Its like a jumble up feelings inside me..
Went to school as per normal.. Woke up little Miss Ily.. Aiyo yo.. Then meet up with the rest at smallMc tamp inter..
First lesson was BEG & it was a topic on Colour Of The World or something like that.. First of all im colour-blind.. Secondly how am i to know what colour when im colour-blind.. Haiz.. Im really at a disadvantage..
Then second lesson was BEO.. I was like half sad already.. Where is Miss Angel..?? WAAHH...!!! Teacher was okay but couldnt concentrate cause my mind was thinking & it can't stop thinking day by day.. Its about something.. Tell you later.. :)
After school went to Tampines Mall accompanied Ily to buy her stuff.. On the way saw her.. I was happy yet sad cause im like a stranger to her.. But guess Seri & Aizah didnt treat me like 1... As for ila i understand she was accompanying her..
Thats all for today.. Now for my love life.. :(
Sadly I really don't know whether you treat me like a stranger or just a human that doesnt exist in this world.. Im like the wind that doesnt blow.. The water that doesnt feel..
You talk about the last hug etc.. In your blog but it seems that its just words.. Before we were friends what were we..?? Before we were lovers what were we..?? Think about it..
Honestly i feel bad about our break up but i can't stand when your dad.. You know.. I don't want to mention it.. Forgive you I will.. But him i have to depends on how the situation is.. I maybe dumb in what i do.. But atleast i am wise enough & mature enough to think when is the limit..
I know that you will treat me as cold & wicked as you can be but think how i am struggling to treat you as nice as what i always do.. I know some of us might think that why am i still writing bout her.. Its because i CARE..
You might be moing on slowly.. Im happy for you but letting you know this.. It is not something that i might say to all my ex.. Your heart are still with me..
Your soul.. Your mind.. Your smile.. Your laughter & you are still with me.. I don't know how i am coping to get use not living with you but i will try.. & try & try.. Until i can't take it animore thats when you know how much i try but still at the same track..
Letting out my feelings in this stupid blog for people to read is what i have.. Cause i know i can't let it out on you or you'll get mad at me.. Haha.. Well.. What a cruel & patience world im in..
By the way there is a saying in malay.. Kalau dah ludah tak jilat balek right.. But what if that ludah is the only thing that saves you in your life.. Would you lick it back..?? hmm.. i wonder.. cause people tend to do miracle..
P.S: I might not be your bf animore but i am still part of your mind that keeps thinking & remembering..
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6:38 AM
