Sunday, July 3, 2011 Y
Hey
Can you hear my hear just crack? Can you heart the despair that is flowing through it? i guess not cause even when i'm going low as to kill my own feelings for you.. Make you happy when im down.. Smile for you when deep inside it's slowly building up.. you still won't know what i'm trying to do..
My words are a piace of advie and not for shooting you or making you feel sad.. it was suppose to make you realise and choose the right path.. But different people have different way of thinking cause that's how they are.. I think i'm going to burst sooner or later if this continues and i'm sure you will also say you will too..
What i have done will go down the drain and wash away what we had back then and bring fourth strangers between us..
Just a glimpse of you is what i need or wanted but you're scared to trust me.. Your voice makes my heart warm but now it makes it blacker.. Where is your sweetness.. I'm really out of words to say.. My heart will stop beating if this continues and i hope that you will find a person that is better than me cause i don't think i'm good enough for you..
I'm just a boy with potential but a potential to make you fall and suffer in despair.. Before it's too late.. would like to say i'm sorry for what i have done.. and even soo you will say i have heard that more than once.. Haish.. I really am..
04/07/11
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10:20 AM
Saturday, July 2, 2011 Y
Hey
Sorry for not blogging for a very very long long time.. Busy with school.. Work.. Love life.. Family.. Friends.. etc.. Plus my lappy was down.. Pfft..
HERE I GO!! It's going to be very long..
FAMILY!
Well.. My family have been doing well i suppose.. My brother ended his NS.. My second sister got married again.. My first sister don't know where the hell she is and my last sister don't know what is going on in her life..
My mom is fine but just recently that something happen between her and my last sister until she ask my last sister to move out.. As for me i'm just being neutral and see where did the problem arise from and where is all their mistate cause i don't believe that only 1 person makes mistake.. Everyone does.. Now my mom is staying alone with the husband and only him.. I hope she realise regretting that she choose her husband over her children..
My dad is getting married soon with the same girl he always quarrell.. I really don't know what else to sa about him just a little bit disappointed cause us as his children have already advice him but he still wants to pursue with her.. We can't say much.. As long he is happy we are ok with it.. just that we already know the outcome of the future we are going to have..
My first sister after marriage gone to god knows where.. Once in a while text.. Text also cause want to ask pay back the money.. For once can people or humans don't think bout money.. Come on.. You have your husband working full-time and you're at home sitting in front of the lappy.. Don't be LAZY for goodness sake.. If you know that you are tight in the pocket.. Go out and work.. Not to enjoy but for your children future.. But oh wells.. Its up to her now cause she's married..
My second sister.. Hmmm.. To me she's doing fine.. Got a husband that's hard working and don't want her to work cause she needs to take care of her children and his children.. But 1 thing is please don't scold the children like they owe you your life.. Don't yell and scream at them.. Don't hit them like you're hitting a toy.. Afterall they are still just a kid learning from their mistake slowly..
My brother is another thing.. Always with the GF.. Ask to do this then do.. Ask to fetch also fetch.. Haiya.. i can't say much about hime cause he's a grown boy now.. Eventually he'll wake up some day..
My last sister.. LAZY to the max.. I really don't know what she wants in life.. Whether want to work or school.. This is what happen if you don't listen to me or your dad and brother.. Want to work also keep changing job.. This don't like la.. That don't like la.. Come on.. There will always be politcs everywhere.. There is no work place without people bitching around.. There's only 1 place i know.. Graveyard.. You want to pursue studies go ahead work for your moeny and learn working hard not easy life then you will understand..
WORK!!
It's been a long time since i went back to wrok but once in awhile i will go and work to see the condition there.. I can say that it's not the same as before cause of the people there and i'm talking about all in neutral.. Please stop bitching around to stop all this.. Why must u bitch about people.. It's rather soothing to hear the good stuff bout people rather than the bad.. That is my thinking.. If people do the bad things don't follow just let it be eventually the will get tired of it.. i don't want to say much now cause i don't know the full story..
All i know is that i work there cause of someone but even though that doensn't guarantee that person will stay..
SCHOOL!!
Well.. I've not been to school for so freaking long cause i was having my IA and i miss the april intake orientaion now they won't know who is me.. haha... For attachment i weny to Keppel Log but got kick out cause never turn up for some days.. Well i don't blame them cause i want it that way.. The people there are so not friendly.. Everyday come to work not even a morning to them.. It's like work and more work..
But got into Singapore Mint.. The people there are like my 3rd family.. Soo funny and friendly.. I learn alot from them be it good or bad.. Haha.. I'm really going to miss them sooner or later.. Haha.. The job scope there is quite tight due to low of manpower.. For me.. But i think thats how they save ost by letting the worker there work more with low on manpower.. Pity them..
I miss my BLs alot.. i'm sure they miss me atleast to a certain point.. Haha.. Going back to school this coming monday and can't wait to meet my classmates.. They are soo hilarious plu at times irritating but that is what makes it more interesting learning in ITE.. haha
LOVE LIFE!!
Dear girl that i love soo much.. I didn't mean to hurt you.. I didn't mean to make you cry.. I didn't mean for all the things that i did to happen..
I know i'm an ass for hurting you always but letting you know i didn't do it on purpose.. Even though i knwo my words won't convince you cause i have hurt you soo very much and soo alot of times.. All i want is for you to be happy and live your life.. I think my life is with yoou now... Even when u re sad.. I will feel sad.. Even when you are down.. I will feel doen cause eventually it will affect me..
It's like all we did was argue and quarrell everyday.. Even you and i are tired of it.. even though we are trying to avoid the argument end up we will still argue.. Haish.. I've ever ask you this.. Are you tired of me? Do you still love me? will you leave me someday knowing that there are other guys out there? etc..
I would cut off my feelings of sadness and loneliness just to see you happy.. Whatever thethings that u want i will try my best t get it for you.. I will try my best to do it for you.. I will try my best not to commit any more words or action to make you cry.. Cause by seeing you cry it makes me feel that i have fail as a BF..
Its been more than a year that we are together and to me my love for you still remains even from all the quarrell we had.. It's hard not to love you cause you are special in a unique way plus i won't give up once i have set my eyes one it.. During a year we can laugh.. Joke around.. Cry.. etc.. But i feel now that i don't feel special.. I feel more like a friend sometimes.. Maybe cause i miss you being sweet.. Being what i know u back then.. but even soo i can't look back cause maybe i made you this way and i'm to blame..
Every conversation we had there must be and argument.. All i'm trying to do is advice you not find fault.. I know feel that i'm finding fault but i'm not the type cause i believe in advising.. I really don't know what to do or say sometimes cause i'm scared that my words will hurt you.. My action will hurt you.. But i will not give up cause i know that once i give up then there is no point.
You want me to be possessive and i did.. Plus i don't like those who flirt with you and i know you have your limits.. But how would i feel knowing that someone is flirting with you.. How i wish he regret living cause he will meet hell soon.. Haiya.. i don't know what to do just hope and hope and hope..
I do care about you.. I do care bout your feelings.. I really do.. But i don't know.. I'm pouring all my hearts out here.. But i still feel not right knowing that you are still unhappy or will be.. I don't know how this will turn out to be.. but i hope the best for us and we will hand on.. Try our best and never give up cause there's no point if we give up.. all the tears we had.. All the moments we had gone just by a single word..
Thats bout all for today.. MF I love u
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3:32 PM
